
image is a digital mockup, not a photograph of the printed shirt.
autistic tahiti.
$37
front: "eye contact is my cardio." back: "maintained eye contact for 3 seconds. need a nap." this is the shirt you'd wear to a podcast and then spend 11 minutes explaining why eye contact feels like holding a staring contest with the sun while someone reads your browser history out loud. autistic tahiti. double-sided. bella+canvas 3001. unisex. 100% ring-spun cotton. wear the receipt.
SIZE
COLOR
QTY
unisex relaxed fit. runs true to size.
bella+canvas 3001. 100% ring-spun cotton. 5.3 oz midweight.
tagless neck label. side-seamed for zero twist.
pre-shrunk. machine wash cold, tumble dry low.
do not iron the print.
we removed the tag before you had to ask.
SIZE CHART, GARMENT MEASURED FLAT
| size | chest width in | length in | chest / length cm |
|---|---|---|---|
| s | 18 | 28 | 45.7 / 71.1 |
| m | 20 | 29 | 50.8 / 73.7 |
| l | 22 | 30 | 55.9 / 76.2 |
| xl | 24 | 31 | 61.0 / 78.7 |
| 2xl | 26 | 32 | 66.0 / 81.3 |
| 3xl | 28 | 33 | 71.1 / 83.8 |
ships within 3–5 business days.
free shipping on orders over $70.
printed to order, then shipped. returns within 30 days, unworn. damaged or misprinted items replaced free, send a photo.
we ship to wherever you're masking.
THE GARMENT
CHEST WIDTH, FLAT
these numbers stay blank until samples are measured in hand. no supplier spec sheets, no guesses.
THE RECEIPT
PATTERN RECOGNIZED
wear the receipt.
autistic tahiti.
eye contact is my cardio.
front: eye contact is my cardio.
back: maintained eye contact for 3 seconds. need a nap.
$5 of every shirt funds development of the ark project.
no refunds on pattern recognition.
patternrecognized.com
autistic tahiti.
$37